New plan for new year

I have visited Cambridge and Trinity University. Do you know what I felt when I were strolling in these campuses? Admiration and hopelessness are the appropriate words. I ought to have been there.

Luckily, we live in an era of Internet technology. MIT, the famous university in the States, has provided open online courses, which are abundant and free. I've decided to study something. The most interesting course is Comparative Media Studies.

I will study these stuff at least one hour per day. Study new knowledge is the second best thing in one's life. What is the best? Different individuals may have different answers.

This is the new plan for the new year. I wish I could be persistent.

A torch for me?

Tommy, my buddy, came to me with a weird grin on his face, and said:

"Guy, don't you know that W has a torch for you?"

"What d'ya mean? "

"It means she has passion of you!"

"Fuck, what are you talking about?"

Tommy kept the ugly smile and started to remind me something. One night we went to a bar near the Trent river. At that bar I grasped W's hand.

"Yes, you are right. But that was just normal behaviour between friends. Moreover, I did that to amuse you guys." I argued.

"It was normal when you held her hand for the first time. But what's abnormal is you held her twice. You know in the second time, I noticed a beam in her eyes. 'Cause W is a conservative lady, and I believe, from then on, she had some feeling of you! "

"Man, when you talked, do you know who I recalled in my mind? " I said quietly.

"Who?"

" Mephistopheles"

"Who is Mephistopheles?"

"You jerker, you don't read Faust. Mephistopheles is the name of the devil who tried to seduce Faust, the saint."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you too."

The problem is, after this conversation, I can't stop thinking of what he said. Maybe he talked the partial truth. W cooked for me in midnight, gave some gifts, and even sewed a patch for my jeans.

Oh, It will never be totally true. Because she is a loyal wife and a kind mother, and I have converted to be a righteous man. I will not let it happen. Surely not.

Poor Ms.Wan

Last night, when we played card together, a classmate told us gently: "I know it's inapropriate to tell you this news, but I think I should let you guys know, Ms. Wan died suddenly in hospital."

This sad news caused shock and fury for a moment, however, we didn't cease to playing.

Ms. Wan, whose full name is seldomly known among us, was a teacher in the Foreign Language Department of Hangzhou Teacher's College. How old was she? No one knows exactly. She looked like only 30-35 years old, an age too young to die.

Ms. Wan was not pretty and might not be very intelletual,I think. She didn't teach us. Her job was doing some trivial service, like enrolling, collecting fees and distributing textbooks. Every time when we met her, she always smiled. She was a gentle women with a hamble nature. I still remember that when we had diner and party together, she seldom talked.

Now she departed from this world. It is said she died from a minor joint-infection operation. It's unbelievable and horrible. I don't know what the fucking hospital did to her!

No mater what did happen to her, she is not alive now. What a sad news! It seems like she never contest with anyone, anything, however, the death didn't spare her.

Poor Ms. Wan! I can do nothing for you execpt for praying for your soul.

May God wipe your tears and rest your soul for ever and ever.

Amen.

Confession

Once upon a time, Jesus changed water to wine in a wedding banquet. However, there is a kind of man, whose soul is so corrupted; that this man can only change wine to water, sour hard water. The new year is in my hand. I need to make new plans of my life. Should I continue to lead a miserable self-distructive life, it would have been no better than a corpse. I should make my soul pure, my mind still, above all, my life productive. I wish to devote myself to someone, to something, instead of useless vanity. I wish I could live as a human instead of an animal. I will cherish the wine of my life and drink it day after day.

Deepl.com/write

One day Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding feast. But there is a kind of man whose soul is so corrupted that he can only change wine into water, sour hard water. The new year is in my hand. I must make new plans for my life. If I continue to lead a miserable, self-destructive life, it will be no better than a corpse. I should make my soul pure, my mind still, and above all, my life productive. I want to devote myself to someone, to something, instead of useless vanity. I want to live like a man instead of like an animal. I will cherish the wine of my life and drink it day by day.

Miss my brother

Finally, we met with each other. It was just like a dream. When I wake up in the morning, I just wondered where I was.

I have seen what I ought to see, his happiness, his struggle and his sorrow.

I will pray for him and his beloved ones. That seems like the only thing I can do right now.

No matter what may change, I am sure of one thing--We are brothers.

Yes, I have seen my brothers and everything belonged to him. I have no regrets now.